Vipassna: The official word for what I call 'Masochistic meditation'.
It's this combination of meditation and excruciating pain- in a 10 day camp where you're not allowed to communicate with anyone.
I went for it, survived it and then, I began writing this blog.
But, if you go and don't survive… don't blame me.
I'm the Incredible Hulk.
Okay. Not really.
But it's a great story to show everyone how tough you are.
Brain paraglider: My first big contribution to the English language. This word was meant to eliminate the negative connotations associated with the 'storm' part of the word 'Brainstorm'. In my opinion, the word 'para-gliding' better represents the exhilarating experience associated with 'Brainstorming'.
To highlight my flexibility in such matters, I have left open the option to use any such adrenaline pumping extreme sports as an alternative to the term.
Brain bungee jumping
Brain white water rafting
And so on.
So take your pick folks.
Yuppiedom: Okay, honestly, this isn't my invention. But, given repeated inquiries about this term, I decided to include it in this glossary.
Yuppiedom is the kingdom of 'Yuppies'.
A yup is a Young Urban Professional.
The superstars of the materialistic, world of consumerism.
The 'successful' wealth accumulators of the current generation- also, the braggers, the dull, unimaginative dimwits, the slaves of big corporations.
No… I don't like them.
How did you guess?
Angextrovert: The people who direct their anger outwards.
Angintroverts: The people who direct their anger inwards.
Punchliners: The people who deliver a hard-hitting, gut wrenching punch line to the person who has angered them. Leaving him writhing on the floor, debilitated and stunned.
Cry-o-holics: The people who cry when they are angry.
Cucumbers: The people who stay cool in a situation which would anger others. Derived from the English phrase: As cool as a cucumber.
The theory is quite brilliant.
Even if I say so myself.
You should totally check it out.
Numerocity: The city of numbers.
It exists in my head.
Each number has a personality.
And all of them live in a parallel universe, called Numerocity.
Geniusness: The quality of being a genius.
My major contribution to the English Language.
Quite frankly, I don't understand what's taking the folks at the Oxford Dictionary offices so long to confer some sort of recognition to this blog, for it's role in enriching the language.
Sometimes, I think, blog writing is a thankless job.
But you know what?!?
Someone's gotta do it.
Wimpledon: A place where you will find lots of wimps.
I'm president by the way.
My second term.
I'm hoping for a hat-trick.
That means I'm hoping for a third term…
I don't know why I used that term- hat-trick.
I don't watch cricket.
And I don't wear hats.
Dubaiians: The stereotypical person living in Dubai.
Having grown up in Dubai, I have ample expertise in defining and identifying traits that are specific to Dubaiians.
Ambiguous-illiant compliment-ation': My proprietary technique of complimenting someone using phrases or references which are vague and confusing. Often, the aim of this exercise is to baffle the listener and mess up his understanding of the appropriate reaction. The other aim is to assert your 'freak-i-ness' to a new acquaintance.
Peachimonia: The disease that generally afflicts non-facebook users who, after, viewing the profiles of their high school friends (who seem to be having a lot of fun)- suffer from severe depression stemming from the fact that others' lives seem to be all rosy and peachy. Unlike their own.
And I thought Rosimonia sounded a little weird.
Side note: I have been struggling with chronic Peachimonia for a long time.
And I'm not ashamed to admit it.
Institute of Super Cool Research into Random Stuff (ISCRRS): An institute launched by yours truly.
The name says it all.
Become a member today.
It's free and easy and you don’t need any qualifications.
E-mail me at email@example.com for more information.
UMAI: Universe Magnification, Amplification, Intensification.
It's pronounced as 'ooh-my'.
Again, a proprietary technique to gain access to the signals of the universe.
Click on the link above for details.
You won't regret it.
Any chance you can ignore the fact that I winked?
Don't know why I winked.
The link is clean and suitable for reading by all ages.
Please ignore the wink.
Barferial amnesia: Another contribution of mine to the medical field (like Peachimonia, above). It's the disease which produces a strong bond between your brain and stomach- such that- your brain and stomach decide, together, to empty themselves out.
Just for fun.
Coz they are buddies.
And it's one for all and all for one.
The Theory of eating: Another shining example of my geniusness.
This theory describes the stages we go through when we are having our meals. And then links it -with great aplomb- to our generation.
Yes Ladies and Gentlemen.
Weird but true.
It's finally been done.
Stage 1: The First Few Bites (FFB)
Stage 2: The Bites after the First Few Bites (BFFB)
Stage 3: The Bites after the Bites after the First Few Bites (B2FFB)
Stage 4: The Bites after the Bites after the Bites after the First Few Bites (B3FFB)
If I try to explain each stage, I'll have to write out the whole post again.
It's probably a better idea if you go read Part 1 of the post.
Oh by the way, the theory is simpler than it looks.
I only named the stages in such a way that it sounds all smart and complicated.
I'm intelligent, that way.
I'm intelligent, that way.
Shroud of self awareness: The term I use to describe the phenomenon where people, under the impression of being self-aware, miss glaring incongruence between their own self-image and their actions. This is caused by a human tendency to cling onto our ideas with annoying fervor.
You can't refute this.
I've quoted 'The Black Swan' to put my point across.
And that's a really smart book.
It CAN'T be wrong.
I won't let it.
Cupcakeland: It's my happy place.
Where everything is made of cupcakes, obviously.
It's located on the West coast of Chocolatica. It shares a border with Superfast Metabolistan on the East and has Calorie Killer County to its North.
Please differentiate this from 'dimwits' (the difference is in the capitalization of the first letter).
Dimwits are a class of thinkers who have been banished to the dark corridors of obscurity by the self-serving, self-appointed care-takers of knowledge- the intellectual snobs. Dimwits are an intellectually superior breed of humans, who display extraordinary level of courage and open-mindedness - in their pursuit of knowledge.