April 14, 2012

2012 Discoveries

So most people would look at the huge gap between my last post and today and say 'There's another blogger that just got tired and stopped blogging.'

To them I say, 'HAH! In your face!! IN YOUR FACE!!'

The smart ones, like those who're really really smart, and intelligent and pretty would say, 'The Pious Hippie is taking time for some in-depth research.'

Which, of course,  is the truth.

The past few months have taught me a lot of stuff- so this is a 'TAKING STOCK' post.

I will now proceed to lay out before you the revelations that 2012 has brought with it, for me.

FYI, a lot of these are changes to what I said before, so if you haven't read that - you'll be lost pretty much most of the time.

And then you'll hate me.

So I've linked everything to the original posts- so you can read that and understand what's going on and you will love me again.  

Maybe not "love" me, but like me.

Moving on.

Revelation description format:

Old Hypothesis: To reduce future suffering, we should increase current suffering as much as we can.
Revelation: This works. Quite well.
I'm still off coffee and chocolates- and it's killing me.
Slowly but surely.
But I think it's working.
Will keep you updated on progress.
New Hypothesis: Stick with the old hypothesis.

Old Hypothesis: The only way I can make my nose smaller without going to a plastic surgeon is by losing weight.
Revelation: Not true.
I've lost weight. Lots of weight.
My nose has become bigger.
I'm glad you asked.

You see, my face has shrunk and my nose is still the same size.
Therefore, my nose is actually, proportionately, bigger.
I now wear a brown paper bag over my nose.
New Hypothesis: Ya have to live with the nose God gave ya.
OR get a nose job.

Old Hypothesis: The universe gives you signals to show you if you're going the right way. In life- generally speaking.
Revelation: Human nature prompts us to read the signal in favor of what we want to do, not necessarily what we should do.

For example: If I want to go get some ice-cream and a red bird flies past my face.
I'm going to think, 'Oh!! The universe wants me to get a scoop of strawberry ice-cream (because… strawberries are red).

BUT maybe the red bird flying past me is a STOP signal from the universe.

And then I go get that strawberry flavored ice-cream.
And then my throat starts … you guessed it… getting sore.
And I start hating the universe because it misled me.
And the universe just shakes it's head in disgust.
New Hypothesis: Take the universe's signals with a pinch of salt.
In fact, take them with a splash of tabasco or something that will totally overpower the signal.

Old Hypothesis: Regret is a waste of 6 letters. You should never regret anything.
Revelation: Umm. Easier said than done.
True, all of the things you enjoy today are a result of previous decisions.

BUT, what about the things you could have enjoyed? And you can't now?
AND what about the things that make you suffer today?
They're a result of past decisions too, you know.
New Hypothesis: I didn't know what the hell I was talking about back then.
I was a dork. 

That's changed now, by the way.
If you haven't noticed.
I'm totally NOT a dork anymore.
Funny how people change like that!

Old Hypothesis: Facebook leads to 'Peachimonia'.
Revelation: It totally does.
I accepted defeat and got onto facebook as a new year's resolution.
And I'm hating it.
New Hypothesis: Some of my old hypothesises are AWESOME!!
What's the plural of hypothesis anyway?

Like 'fungus' and 'fungi'?

Or hypothesice?!
Like 'mouse' and 'mice'?

So you see, 2011 was a very educative year.
And the first few months of 2012 too.

The results of my experiments came in and proved most of my hypothesises right.
Okay, that word is beginning to annoy me now.

Some were amended while others were turned on their heads.
All in all, it was a good year for the ISCRRS.
(the Institute for Super Cool Research into Random Stuff… you forgot didn’t you?)
It still exists.
It's going strong.
Making the world a better place, one random idea at a time.

Also, there are some kinds of coffee that smell like earwax.
Don't ask me how I know.
I just do.
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The Pious Hippie by Ms. Pious Hippie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.